Altering the Equilibrium

The statistical verification of Nepal’s demographic data shows that we are in the best status when it comes to male to female ratio compared to other countries in the world. This scenario is, however, changing with the legalization of abortion in Nepal since 2002. And, since then Nepal has seen the shifting male to female ratio which shows that from 2007 to 2010, the CSR for second-order births where the first-born was a girl was found to be 742 girls per 1000 boys.

To be more precise, we can say that Nepal’s male to female ratio is 0.92 between the age of 15-65-years-old while it is 1.04 during the time of birth, as of July 5, 2013 consensus data on human population. I am not a preacher of a particular belief and I respect all religion. So, basically, whatever religion you follow, it must be true that you believe in your god — your god. And, god has set its own parameter to maintain the world’s population and check it from wiping out of the history.

But, since the last decade we have seen some heinous crimes of female-infanticide going unpunished. So, now the question is, who is to be blamed for this? — the perpetrator, our system which fails to protect the fetus from being killed or we who are reticent to most of the things going around us?

There is a saying, which means that the biggest culprit is not the one who commits crimes but the one who abets it and/or fails to stop it by acting against it. There is another one such saying which says something like this: “If injustice is happening to your neighbor and you can see, then wait for your turn because you are the next.”

And, I guess, this dictums can’t be more precisely applied to anyone else but us. So far, we were pointing fingers to India and China — one of the two major fostering states of world which is growing by leaps and bounds (where China is already a second biggest economy of the world), for female-infanticide. They were the leaders responsible for shifting the godly-equilibrium towards an grotesque image of society having more boys than girls. And, so far, we have been more reticent on these issues rather than bringing into the discussion and bringing it into the world’s attention in more aggressive manner than it has already been.

Ironically, the trend of sex-selection has been seen to be increasingly more popular in more educated family and has been more prevalent in the urban region than anywhere else in the country. And, probably it is because of the availability of instruments and tests necessary to determine sex before birth.

Like in most of the South East Asian countries, Nepal values male more than female and it is quite infectious and prevalent. And, males are the ones who get more attention than female in our society. The escalation in choosing male over female and going through the process of abortion for male child is because of the family pressure in most of the urban families. Moreover, there are families who use to blame their daughter-in-law for not being male child, which is nothing more than a sheer stupidity.

Nepal has been so far one of the most modest society in South East Asia particularly in case of female and female has been revered as a goddess in this society. And, for that reason they are being prayed in certain occasions and festivals. We are the country of living goddess — popularly known as “Kumari”. However, the way are slipping in the world’s trend seems that we are not far from annihilating our own revered culture.

The skewness in male to female ratio might have severe repercussion on the society and this is something which will turn the society in complete chaos. History has proved that scarcity of female in any society turns society violent.

There are several driving factors which might be motivating the Asian society to follow their self-doomed way through female infanticide such as: earning power and dowry system. Our society is more infested with the deep-rooted culture of dowry system and it is hard to get rid of it. With the modernity of the society this dowry system is getting even more infectious and this is what getting the situation even more difficult and it is even exacerbating rather than ameliorating the problem even a bit.

Science has shown that female immunity is more stronger than male’s immunity and therefore, they live longer than their male counterpart. Additionally, female are getting academically stronger and going stronger in the performance wise as well as they use left brain rather than the right brain unlike their male counterpart.

Therefore, this is the high time to change our perception towards women and female and view them as superior in the human kind. It is just our perception which will bring the change and to bring the change you have to change yourself first. So, be the change to bring the change! ■

“Marriage is a Private Affair”

“Marriage is a private affair” – this is a very well know topic and it has been matter of discussion and talk of table since long time. One reason might be that even the name of the topic is in itself very much sensational, and moreover, it has been one of the most crucial part of our life – MARRIAGE! Therefore, I thought of writing on this topic thinking of possibility of gravitating more thoughts, and subtopics which it will garner after this, for more discussion.

Before starting to write on this topic, I first tried to find some tangible facts that will help to bolster this topic, such as, the number of male and female in a country and a region, the issues governing female infanticide, the way of marriage in a particular country, religion, region and community, the average divorce rate (to clarify the fact that how successful a marriage is in today’s date), and how is it being taken in a particular society as a whole.

For me, what I understand as a meaning of this topic is that, marriage is a relationship which is more intimate, more secluded, more personal (in everyway), and is the closest relationship between two persons – if we talk about monogamy lawfully. However, polygamy is still prevalent and pervasive in most parts of the world which is still taken as lawful – not to be specific about the country or region, because in most cases it is justified depending on the momentary existing circumstances.

Since,  it is difficult to include every single details on this fact, it is wise to make it short and concise, and it is so flexible that it can be defined in several ways. And, I guess married are those who should be writing on this topic rather than a single person  like me, because they are more seasoned than people like me.

From the raw data what I can guess is that almost half of the Asian countries are still practicing the methods of arrange marriage which has been thought to be more successful compared to the love marriage – this is the crude raw data which might be different, and the exceptions are still there. This is a long past history and has been deep rooted mainly in the countries like India, Nepal, Bangladesh, Pakistan, SriLanka, African countries, Middle East Countries and pat of East Asia.

It is more a matter of discussion rather than information on facts because of the fact that whether arrange marriage is kind of marriage which is more successful and better than love marriage or is it another way round? Because, as the data from the various sources suggests that the divorce rate in the western countries are higher compared to the middle east and the Asian countries. And, more specifically, countries like India and Nepal has the divorce rate even lower than 1%. But, the story doesn’t ends here!

Though the divorce rate is lower in these countries and many other Asian countries like these, there is definitely higher suicide rate, depression and the killings of the newly-wed bride relating to the dowry issues which has deep rooted in these regions. However, since Indian and Nepal is more into the dowry system, still hazy or no data is found relating to the dowry-related-killings in Nepal. But, the sister organization of United Nation (UN) – UN WOMEN – data on India suggests that 24 women lose their life everyday because of the dowry issues.

The topic: “Marriage is a private affair” sounds even more meaningful to me in some particular cases relating to the violence against women when their years of shattered marriage life is still concealed to the world and never comes out until the suffering women is in her moribund.

The dowry exchange is illegal, but the law itself doesn’t seems taking out this problem. The problem is becoming more and more violent which is costing more and more lives everyday in these countries. So, just one part of the issue is not sufficient in describing the successful life after walking down the aisle, but it has got more devastating facts, that is more dire than the unsuccessful marriage, where divorce is more prevalent.