I recall, (some 14 years ago) I was referred to the surgical department for a minor surgery under local anesthesia. It was something ‘first time’ for me to go through such kind of procedure, and it had to be done according to the doctor, though it was not that urgent. But, had to be done, as it is always good to take care of our health when it is minor. Everything in this universe, once becomes big, have a bigger influence (good or bad) and disease is not an exception as well.
“I felt like I was in a slaughter house filled with butchers”.
When I learnt that I had to go through the surgery, I was little bit scared. But then I was explained that it is something normal as usual and it is not a big surgery or something and, so obviously it would not had anything to do with the pain or something. I was clearly explained that it is done only after injecting local anesthesia and so, I did not have to worry for anything. The only thing that I had to make sure that, ‘its ok for me to go through that minor procedure’. I said, ‘‘OK’, lets do it”!!
I don’t remember the month or the year, but I do still remember, it was Wednesday – as my usual day, when I had to go to school and attend class and things like that. But, as I was still young for school things, I was little bit happy – as it was something like bunking class, but officially…………
I was then taken into a OT/OR. It way was something like a labyrinth, and I am still unable to recall all those convoluting paths following to the OR. My feeling was something like, ‘I was watching some kind of horror movie like ‘AXE’ and I had to follow the path where I would find my exit from this imbroglio. But, soon, I realized that it is just like the movie – ‘AXE’ – I was stuck in a room where almost half of the room were filled with green environment, which was not of course green as it sounds here. But, looked something scary!! Persons clad in green suits with two rolling tables filled with big bunch of knifes and scissors still steaming, plasters and ointments.
I was asked to rest on the operating bed after I was assisted in donning in same kind of attire as those worn by the bunch of rookies.
As I was lying flat on the bed, I saw a guy – who might had been one of the surgeon performing the surgery – started injecting the sedative (a local anesthetic) in my left hand just at the site of the cyst in my palm. I could feel the pain and the motion of the needle getting deep piercing through muscle which was even more worse when I saw the size of the syringe – it was something for a vet. of course and not for a poor guy like me lying helplessly on the table surrounded by the rookies which looked as if they will punch me back and would have made me flat on the same bed – but, this time without any kind of anesthesia, if I would have some how decided to run away making my own final decision.
After few seconds one of them asked me smartly, ‘Does it hurts?’, as he patted on my operating part of palm. I said, ‘No’. ‘Are you sure?’ Calmly, I said, ‘Yes’. Though, I was feeling something inside to say, ‘Goddam!! Just start over, I am getting freaking crazy nervous’. ‘DO NOT TRY MY PATIENCE!’.
So, after so much hue and cry, they finally started. I felt something hard and sharp going inside my skin and I said, ‘It hurts’. One of the surgeon signaled one of those rookies to hold my head so that I could not see what I had been pressed to go through. He pressed by head just opposite to my left hand and kept holding till the entire procedure was over. I felt like I was in a slaughter house filled with butchers. Even with my uncountable plead, they did it – without caring how I was feeling and what they were doing was not right – was not correct of course for me, because,I was feeling what it was like to going through a surgery which was not been well sedated and anesthetized. But, who cares, for them, it was just a job to accomplish and I was one more scapegoat subject to try their hands on me so that they can learn something out of me. THEY JUST WANTED TO DO IT AND FINISH IT IRRESPECTIVE OF AIL I WAS GOING THOROUGH!!
Finally, they did it their own way and it was completed successfully for them, though not successfully for me. It was such a bitter experience for me that I am still scared of any kind of surgery irrespective of how small or big it is – I was not like this earlier!!