“Marriage is a Private Affair”


“Marriage is a private affair” – this is a very well know topic and it has been matter of discussion and talk of table since long time. One reason might be that even the name of the topic is in itself very much sensational, and moreover, it has been one of the most crucial part of our life – MARRIAGE! Therefore, I thought of writing on this topic thinking of possibility of gravitating more thoughts, and subtopics which it will garner after this, for more discussion.

Before starting to write on this topic, I first tried to find some tangible facts that will help to bolster this topic, such as, the number of male and female in a country and a region, the issues governing female infanticide, the way of marriage in a particular country, religion, region and community, the average divorce rate (to clarify the fact that how successful a marriage is in today’s date), and how is it being taken in a particular society as a whole.

For me, what I understand as a meaning of this topic is that, marriage is a relationship which is more intimate, more secluded, more personal (in everyway), and is the closest relationship between two persons – if we talk about monogamy lawfully. However, polygamy is still prevalent and pervasive in most parts of the world which is still taken as lawful – not to be specific about the country or region, because in most cases it is justified depending on the momentary existing circumstances.

Since,  it is difficult to include every single details on this fact, it is wise to make it short and concise, and it is so flexible that it can be defined in several ways. And, I guess married are those who should be writing on this topic rather than a single person  like me, because they are more seasoned than people like me.

From the raw data what I can guess is that almost half of the Asian countries are still practicing the methods of arrange marriage which has been thought to be more successful compared to the love marriage – this is the crude raw data which might be different, and the exceptions are still there. This is a long past history and has been deep rooted mainly in the countries like India, Nepal, Bangladesh, Pakistan, SriLanka, African countries, Middle East Countries and pat of East Asia.

It is more a matter of discussion rather than information on facts because of the fact that whether arrange marriage is kind of marriage which is more successful and better than love marriage or is it another way round? Because, as the data from the various sources suggests that the divorce rate in the western countries are higher compared to the middle east and the Asian countries. And, more specifically, countries like India and Nepal has the divorce rate even lower than 1%. But, the story doesn’t ends here!

Though the divorce rate is lower in these countries and many other Asian countries like these, there is definitely higher suicide rate, depression and the killings of the newly-wed bride relating to the dowry issues which has deep rooted in these regions. However, since Indian and Nepal is more into the dowry system, still hazy or no data is found relating to the dowry-related-killings in Nepal. But, the sister organization of United Nation (UN) – UN WOMEN – data on India suggests that 24 women lose their life everyday because of the dowry issues.

The topic: “Marriage is a private affair” sounds even more meaningful to me in some particular cases relating to the violence against women when their years of shattered marriage life is still concealed to the world and never comes out until the suffering women is in her moribund.

The dowry exchange is illegal, but the law itself doesn’t seems taking out this problem. The problem is becoming more and more violent which is costing more and more lives everyday in these countries. So, just one part of the issue is not sufficient in describing the successful life after walking down the aisle, but it has got more devastating facts, that is more dire than the unsuccessful marriage, where divorce is more prevalent.

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