Being social or being narcissist?

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It is said that “Sharing is caring”. But, then, it is not applicable to anything and everything. Of course, “sharing is caring”, but the very sense is more applicable to things which have got positive impact on people other than you and not just you. This implies to the fact that when you share something from which somebody is going to get some benefit or have some positive impact in their life, it is good or else it is good for nothing. And, social networking is one such platform where it is being believed that often sharing things have got negative on somebody’s else life.

Since the advent of social networking sites, most of us have been addicted to sharing things (relevant or irrelevant to others in Facebook, Twitter, MySpace and so on), in text form. Even for me, I got my first “Hi5” account in 2004 and it got all messed up because of security breach and I was not the only victim, but most of our friends were victimized. Finally, I decided to completely sign off from “hi5” and decided to create another one in one of the then emerging most auspicious social networking sites – “Facebook.

When I created that account, I was not sure why I was creating it, and then what was I going to do with it. I was, basically, addicted to internet, webpages and things connected to it. But, then, slowly after using it, I started realizing  that this is something which is surely going to change the world in the communication field. Since the advent of the social networking sites, people were less confined to using emails and emails seemed starting fading with time and it slowly started becoming quite apparent that it is only useful for sending and sharing documents more than communicating and messaging.

With more emerging cool features, people started getting used to Facebook and Twitter comparatively more than any other communicating medium. Texting were supposed to be more convenient and more preferred method of communication than email and phone calls. Now, it’s the time when Facebook has completely took to the stage and has grabbed most part of this communication world after it has launched its document sharing platform in its personal messaging feature.

But, then, there was a problem. More and more studies and researches started showing that people started becoming more narcissist and more egocentric based on what people share on their profile. Studies started showing that we are losing our real social life while we are more indulged in the virtual social life. It has completely engrossed our life as a whole and we are distancing ourself from our family and those we use to care once. The world seemed moving away from its normal course of life. 

It might be true to some point that we are becoming more egocentric and more narcissist as we are being driven away from the normal social life. But, what I feel is that it might just be a part of the whole story. If we think of sharing things on social networking sites in a positive manner, we will find that we have become more and more social and we have started even caring more about our near and dear ones than previously thought otherwise. We share our moments, our state of mind, local news and weather report in real-time. We are more connected now than we use to be.

I met my school friends on Facebook after years of gap – those who were completely out of touch. These social networking sites have made it possible I make time to meet them which otherwise would not have been possible. It has helped me to get more organized and now I can manage time to meet them all in person just because of these social networking sites. If we think about communication in a positive manner, I would say that it is easier to initiate conversation with people you don’t know on social networking sites and through internet rather than talking in person for the first time (which is often less comfortable). Talking on internet, gives us less chance to be judgmental about somebody we are completely unfamiliar with because of their body language. Now, don’t tell me that you don’t do because that will again impart tint of narcissism – we all do at some point of time – this is a human nature, and I guess there is nothing wrong about it!

I would say that internet, social networking sites are giving us a platform to open up ourself though various ways – either through sharing your thoughts, about things happening your life or else through the various kinds of news. Now, it’s only to those who take it either positive or negative. Everything we say, it always has both positive as well as negative connotation on it. Now, its all up to us how we take it. People those who share good news about their life (for example, if s/he gets scholarship, or got graduated, got fellowship, got into a beautiful relationship, got married, won a lottery) might not be thinking of making somebody else jealous of their life. Because, it is a common sense that whatever you do with your life and however is your life, sooner or later it is going to come out with its real face and there is nothing to boast about. Even if you follow the rules of “dos and don’ts” of social networking sites, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you will end up a very magnificent portfolio in social networking site.

The the only tangible thing to think about is that, “People these days are not sad  as much as of their own downturn or sadness as they are of because of somebody’s else happiness”.  Therefore, it doesn’t matter what you share on the social networking site. It’s up to those who take it either positive or negative. I believe, therefore, that internet has always good impact rather than negative impact on personal behavior. It is all up to us to how we take it – either, we let ourself being taken over by it and get molded by it or else we take on it. 

Happy browsing! Long Live The Internet!

Money can buy happiness!

It might just be another one of those co-incidences that I have just finished watching movie “INTO THE WILD” and just recently and in parallel finished watching a TED talk by Michael Norton on about “Money Can Buy Happiness”. In fact, both of these things have just one thing in common – exploring the true nature, beauty and the meaning of being happy and finding the source of happiness. But, what is uncommon in these two things is the source of happiness.

It is really difficult to define the true meaning of happiness precisely and understandably, because the meaning changes with the situation, perception of the people and their individual circumstances. Mr. Norton believes that the true happiness lies in helping others and being philanthropic in our attitude and our deeds. Helping others will make us feel more good then helping ourself for some motley  and insignificant things. An act of selfless attitude is the one simple gateway to ultimate feeling of pleasure and salvation. And, this fact concedes with the theological understanding in almost all cultures, religions of the world – “What you give is what you will get in return”.

I am hereby just summarizing the main points from these two sources. So, finally, the true meaning of happiness is about helping others with what you have, but not at the cost of your own life or shavings. Share what you can without hampering your and your family life, share things with the people who really understands what its mean to be sharing and being happy, make less friends and stay tight depending on the situation and in the environment you are.

Spend money wisely and not like a spendthrift. Being spendthrift might be a momentarily pleasure, but after that you will have some real tough time – this is where money buys happiness. There is saying, “If earning bring happiness, then saving is an earning”. Money has fettered us all somehow. People say that its our stomach that we earn for, but what I say is that if it would have been just for the stomach, how would a fat-wealth just accumulates with somebody. Why aren’t they like just some other ordinary people? Earning too much and accumulating too much wealth brings misfortunes than fortunes while spending too much also does the same thing.

If we say that money buys happiness means its not about giving a gift to your loves one but to buy a new life for someone who is not your loved ones. The meaning of bigger happiness is not just being confined within our family making each other happy, but to share your fortunes with somebody who are completely destitute. Sometimes, I wonder, and get lost in my own world of imagination that what would be this world like when we would not have to shut our doors for safety, no money to buy foods, no thieves and no wealth to loose, no feeling of envy and no traces of enmity – just like a Kingdom of Heaven. We created money over gold and silver and those things over the things older civilization use to use to exchange things. We have made it valuable.

Share things with whom you think are your real honest friends who knows nothing more than your friendship – so be choosy and be parsimonious in this case because this is where you will cost more if you fail to choose things that you are suppose to over what you are not supposed to. The gist is people these days don’t listen to you, they just hear you. They will never listen what you really mean but they will listen what they want to hear – this is very dangerous situation.

When we were young, we use to hear that the then scientists have that huge salary that they do not have to think about their family and the money they will need to meet their basic needs. In fact, their salary are something that will deter them from even thinking about their family so that they can concentrate more on their research work then something else for better productive results. This is where we can say that money can buy happiness.

So, what we can summarize from all these is that money can truly buy happiness, but the essence of happiness lies on what we choose to do with the money – are we going to spend on ourself or we would like to spend it on somebody else, do charity work and help the needy who will understand the true value of that money and the happiness it brings to their life.