Question of modesty


In Nepal and most of the other Asian countries alike have a quite modest dress code in the society which implies to the fact that we usually have full-body covered dress and clothes. However, this should not be taken as something which has been imposed by the government or some caucus group of the society or some influential person or clerk of society. This is in every way by choice and the dressing sense.

Dress and dressing sense is the prime thing that comes into play when we are talking about modesty. And, more or less we all agree with this fact despite some of us having somewhat different view on this regard. If this would not have been true, everybody in the institutes, organization, university and colleges would have been allowed to don what they feel comfortable in — in more explicit sense, there would not have been any difference in a sea-beach, club bar or a business organization.

Despite all these rules and regulation being implemented by institute, organization and offices, we have developed our dressing sense and this is a quite evident fact. (If you doubt; go back to your old pictures and see how much you have gone through this process of evolution over the course of time.) I would prefer to term it with the word “development” because it sounds more modest and polite than what we have actually done to our-self.  To be very polite, we have lost of dressing sense and our modesty is being twisted by those who are outside sneaking, in this marathon of looking sexy, beautiful, smart, trendy and so called “cool”.

I think for me a cool dressing sense is something in which you maintain your modesty and yet not at the cost of smartness, sense of looking beautiful or handsome.

Since we have not been able to demarcate between what we should wear in public, these media houses have got the leeway to present us in more sexiest manner — specially in case of celebrity and public figure of course compared to general people. And because of this trend there has been issues being raised against the media houses for being mean and have been implicated that they are on the verge of demeaning the female celebrities and public figures. Allegations have been made on media houses for losing their moral principles and values under which they operate and have been vying for gaining more popularity depending on extent of sexiest pictures — which covers more pages these days than the information in text form.

I personally believe that media personals have become too much intrusive in personal life and taking pictures while people are having time with their family and friends. This extent of intrusion can be equated to abuse of power by the journalist in name of press freedom. They have been abusing their power for their personal gain and have been sneaking out there with license in their pockets.

I still remember a story in the news regarding a rape case. The convict was asked, “Why did you rape the women?” The convict answered, “Since she was covered in full veil, I was just curious to know what is so beautiful she is hiding inside and I was curious to know, and thus, it was completely unintentional.” In another such case, when convict was asked why he raped the victim, he answered, “because she was just enticing me for not wearing full clothes and exposing herself to the degree I could not control myself.”

These news signifies the fact that in fact, it is not up to us what we wear and how it affect our security — specially, in case of women. But, this at least mean that we should not give them chance to twist something good to evil just because sometimes we are not careful enough to seal those gaps. It’s just like a proverb which means that a drinker just needs an excuse — sometimes they drink because they are happy, sometimes they drink because they are sad and sometimes they drink because they want to give company and to be gregarious in a group or party surrounded by caucus.

So, I think initial preventive measures should be taken to at least curb these things and prevent our-self from being called a victim.

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One thought on “Question of modesty

  1. As a child rape victim I have to disagree on your view of rape victimization. From age 4-11, a man thought he could do what he pleased with me and the police said I must have done something to ask for it.
    For a long time, I dressed modestly. I shyed away from even smiling at boys, I tried to look ugly on purpose. After years of therapy, I began to blame the rapist instead of myself and wore very sexy clothes too young, trying to take my body back as a symbol of power. Now, I’ve realized that I was trying too hard to be impressive, to show myself off so I could say no and feel in control. I feel comfortable in my modest clothes now. However, I also feel comfortable in my tank tops and shorts, low cut formal dressed and bikins. I am proud of my body without a need to show it off, but no shame in doing so.
    I acknowedge that while I am a rape victim, I am also a rape survivor. I know that for some, the dressing sense as you put it comes from a sense of shame. A belief that without following proper sense ill might befall oneself. For me, if a rapist wants to rape, the rapist will. And the victim will be taken, regardless of their dress or dressing sense.

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