It has been really pleasantly-overwhelming when it comes to enjoying few golden days of my life and taking time off for myself after a long time this year. On Friday (just a day before our holiday was about to begin) I was planning and was brooding making list of things I would be doing in the holidays. But god knows how it passed so flawlessly that I didn’t even realize that my few golden days I had been bestowed just for this moment after long time is up now. And, now, going back to college is just like a huge chain of macabre events getting unfolded every bit of passing seconds.
Just like any other day, my day from tomorrow morning is about to being. Same list of things: waking up with lark, scurrying and rummaging things early in the morning, collecting whatever damn thing I had to grab, clinch on my fist on, reaching to department early morning before 8 or fortuitously before 9 AM sometimes, getting hands and my lab-coats dirty with chemicals, scenting it with the some repelling smells all over it, changing globes often and making sure that nothing will even flab its wing on my samples and make it contaminated will be my daily job. This is not something awkward, not anything like bizarre or unusual – this is all what I have been doing since I joined biology field as my carrier choice, and this is going to be even more aggressive than this in the days to come – by the way, this is my life now – at least for now.
This has been so meaningful to me for I got sometime out of this hectic life for myself after long time. Watching movies had been my best time pass with coffee, blanketed in the few cooler days in Bangkok in my cozy bed. Getting even a breeze of cool air in Bangkok is just like being blessed by the supreme commander of lords, because there is a saying which is famous among the Bangkokians, “There are just three climates in Bangkok throughout the year round and that is hot, hotter and hottest.” So enjoying the cooler climate in Bangkok is one of the few things we can flaunt of, and obviously I will not dare to miss this.
My first days went so unknowingly that I feel sorry to myself. I was supposed to enjoy every bit of this holiday, but when I woke up as usual in the morning which I tagged it as “Waking up with lark”, it happened to be a day when lark got happy with me – one the first day my lark was earlier than me – rising-and-shining. By the time I finished checking my emails, females – whatever there was, it was already above mid-day. And the sun has already gone down by the time I finished my first movie of the day. So, as it was the new year’s eve, I went to the Central World where the count-down is being held every year with thousands of people dancing to the beats of the music-bands beating their drums and singing to the top of their voices engulfing the entire milieu – was really a mega-event to witness on any such historical day.
My remaining two days went by as swimmingly as it was supposed to be – again with few more movies and then lingering my entire days in my lab corridor. And, now, its today when I am totally consumed with the apprehension of the days from tomorrow morning. As I am typing here when the usual days from tomorrow is reeling in my mind as the movie reels — totally vivid, clear, transparent and majestic – there is something uneasiness going into my deep heart and it is throbbing faster and louder adding to the beats of heart amplifying it to its limit: I feel like a small child who don’t want to go to school, but is being forced to do so. Nothing is different, except I am not crying, whining and grousing for being enjoined to do something I don’t want to.
But the show must go on and so do I. The apprehension of the coming days might linger for a while, but have no choice other than to endure it. So, appeasing myself with a consoling tone, “It’s gonna be fine, it’s a new beginning, it’s a new era, it is going to be a fresh new beginning – lets get started over again and god be with me and with us.” Lets just do it taking aside the apprehension engulfing us soaking within us!!