Being Suicidal

Guys hang on!! This is not about me. I am not being suicidal. This is another form of state of mind and of most devastating one that causes more maim than any other state of mind. Few days ago I had penned one blog post about our states of mind. In fact, at that time I didn’t find a specific topic to pen something, so I just moved in and kept on writing. Ultimately, turning out to be one post – a kind of arduous task accomplished for that day!!

I know you have not come here to read some pragmatic, well-trimmed and tailored lecture. So, if you want to learn a detailed information, you can kindly follow the link:, and  for more precise scientific data you can follow and link to the page to read:

and now, let’s cut to the chase!!

When you see the scientific data, you will find that Thailand as a country shares a fairly lower rate of suicide cases compared to its other counterparts countries in the world. Though it is one of the developing countries, people ranked in higher when it comes to living a happy life, and the people who are satisfied with what they have including the service provided to them by the government of Thailand. However, as a nature of fact, there are still some grousing factors that lingers in all societies like a dark cloud like everywhere else – so this is obviously not an exceptional or worldly.

This is a real-story and an event which has just been unfolded in Bangkok.

A father who is perfect in all way suddenly committed suicide. Reason: Unknown. He was a man with a  perfect family: a perfect beautiful supporting working wife who contributes as much to the family as himself financially and monetarily, a son who always comes first in class and never gives even a single chance to complain completely unlike other kids who spend more time in gaming on computer and passing time uselessly without even a stint of productivity, a higher ranking job in the prison, a big car and a big bike like Harley-Davidson or something, if not exactly the same. He was a man who wanted everything perfect, and with a grace of god he had got everything in his life. So, then the curious question arises: Why on earth would somebody take his own life without having any sorts of problem – a perfect-life everybody dreams of? There must be something that might have intrigued him, that might have captivated him, that might have compelled him to commit this sort of stupid act.

Date and time unknown: The guy slammed on his car brakes suddenly when he summoned someone on the top of his voice asking to stop – she is a nurse in the same prison where he worked. 

“I need your help, can you please help me?”

Who wouldn’t get surprised and addled with such a earnest plea? With a kind of smirk, she hastily said, “Okay, I will see you in a while” as she continued her move pressing on her clutches.

The nurse came back to see him in his apartment when he was smoking. As soon as he saw her, he moved hurriedly to his floor where his wife was sitting on a couch watching television.

“So, what happen tell me now?”

No, nothing. Just usual.

But, you were about to tell me when I was going to the office, right?

Yeah, in fact, I wanted to talk to you about my son. 

With a wave of bewildered face, she pressed on the issue: Was it that special on the way summoning me at the top of your voice, which didn’t sound normal even with the then expression on your face?

Handling a notebook with a note on the pages of a new diary, he tried to sway away from the gist matter, leaving everything and everyone in limo.

“I have written this for my son”, “I love him so much”, I have tried to do and tried to give him everything he has asked me for till now”. “Last time he asked me a printer and I brought him this CANON printer – pointing to a white casing Laser printer resting on a small tripod wooden-bench. “I want him to be a smart man and not the one who gets lost in search of their destination, but never achieve it”. “You know what I mean?”, the guy says with a smirk on this face.

The nurse find something unusual things on the pages of the diary, but fearing she might get noticed, she kept flipping through the pages reluctantly. Thinking that he might not want to reveal something personal or want to share what he was intended to, the nurse never asked him twice.

The nurse in completely lost state asked him to leave the room as she expressed her desired to talk to his wife in personal.

The guy left the room without a word.

The nurse then talked to his wife, even who was confused with his attitudes, his words and ways of doing things which apparently looked abnormal. “I don’t know too what happen to him”, the wife said, however, she included that her husband ever mentioned that he would commit suicide jumping from the top of the building.

Later on the same day the nurse contacted a psychiatrist doctor and after making appointment with the doctor, she asked the guy to come along and see the doctor. But, he bluntly refused it. The matter was closed!!

The same day, the phone rings abruptly. As the nurse picked up her phone, the voice on the other side of the phone says, “Our chief is dead! He committed suicide! He shot himself in this apartment just few minutes ago!” Lost in shock, the nurse dialed back to the ambulance and by the time she reached to his apartment, she saw people already carrying him in another private vehicle parked near by. A guy standing on the sidewalk said, “We have called the ambulance, but has not arrived yet”. “He is still not dead”.

There was blood all over the floor. His son sitting there looking in shocked. He is ten-years-old kid. His mind completely buzzed with infinite questions in horror – “What has just happened?”, “Why is there lots of blood?”, “Who tried to kill him?”……………………………………………………………………… cetra.

Reaching to the hospital, the doctor turned down any request of operation or anything other further medical treatment. “Nothing will work now”, the doctor said. “His brain has slammed all over rabbeting without any sign of replacement and he has already lost plenty of blood”, the doctor added. Few minutes later the guy declared dead! CHAPTER CLOSED!

Later it surfaced though the blood test report that, he had discovered himself to be HIV positive and that might be the most probable reason for a most successful guy to uphold his decision which he never had to. “HIS BLOOD TEST WAS NOT PERFECT FOR HIM, AND FOUND HIS LIFE UPSIDE DOWN – AND, HE WAS NO MORE A PERFECT GUY!!

His failure to tackle his problem and lack of prudent choice and decision cost him his life. I don’t know whether he was a loser, a rundown person and a coward, though people will tag him with those kind of epithets later in his life. His lack of temerity to take his life as it is will probably make his family suffer in someway.

I am not supporting him for what he did and what he thought was right, but our life makes us nuts some time leaving us no choice – enjoining us to make a foolish decision in our life. It is hard to say that we have to struggle, but only the sufferers knows how it feels being in that situation and what is it to be like the one who in the amidst of those kind of impasse.



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